WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD!

Like chewing on tin foil

Why does everything have to be so frustrating and hard lately? I mean jesus! I am up shit Niagara without a rubber ring and the fecal coast guard is on holiday.

I mean, I know life will never go how you planned, but at the moment it's on a downward spiral to rock bottom. I literally have no idea who I am anymore because of it. It's hard to believe the events of last year have changed me as much as they did, I am just...lost, I guess.

I'm failing miserably at college, with what were good grades just melting away like a nazi who just cracked open the arc of the covenant, I'm having up-and-down mood swings (mostly down) that are really playing havoc with my home life, and I find myself at a bar every saturday night for the past month getting drunk and trying to suppress all these feelings for another week.

It's gotta stop, I'm gonna hurt myself otherwise.

I just found myself laying in bed this morning and trying so hard to find a reason to get up. I practically have nothing left to really live for. I've managed to piss everything away and fuck a lot of things up. So I figure the one, sole reason for carrying on right now is curiosity.

I want to see where I do end up in the next ten years. I am going to try and make it up to myself, because at this point...it's only really me who gives a shit about ME!

Omnislash my heart

Okay, so, like any 18 year old lad who has been playing videogames ever since he got a gameboy pocket for his 5th birthday and totally blitzed 'Kirby's Dreamland' until the local bloc bully steals it one day and you have to run and tell your mum to get it ba- Okay, wait, getting off topic now.

Anyway, like any kid, I used to own a playstation. We got one for christmas one year, and we got a bunch of games with it. Among that pile was a little game called 'Final Fantasy 7' (Or as I called it at that age, Vee-eye-eye)

I was only 8 at the time I believe, so I didn't quite have the attention span needed to play the game. I only got as far as the Temple of the Ancients where Demon Wall kept destroying me...that was frustrating enough for me to never play it again.

Eventually, I forgot about the game, and when I turned 14 I found it whilst rummaging through a box of junk. I thought I'd give it another go, because it had become such an iconic game by then. So, I managed to get as far as the Diamond Weapon battle this time, before my PS2 died horribly from unnown circumstanced.

So, after coming to terms with the fact I will never be able to avenge Aeris, I start saving up for a brand new xbox 360 and forget about my Sony-ridden past.

Last year however, I bought myself a shiny, new PS3, and got a free £20 PSN card with it. After browsing the v

irtual store shelves for a few minutes, I spot it. Final Fantasy VII, in all its glory. Without a second thought, I DOWNLOAD THE SHIT OUT OF IT!

Last week, I finally finished it, and I loved every damn second of it. The twist-and-turn storyline, the simple and engaging battle system, the character development, the

music (obviously), even the 3 days I spent inbreeding chocobo's to get a gold one was still enjoyable.

But when I hit the ending, those final moments when you unleash an all powerful death-strike on that silver haired douchebag and the credits start rolling...I just felt so empty. I really REALLY loved this game, and I was a little upset to see it all over. There has never, and will never be another game that will make me feel that way.

So, I think, after all these years, I finally know what all the fuss was about.

Bill, I believe this is killin' me

So, life has had me cowering in a corner whilst it beats me with a sock full o' pennies recently, and annoyingly...it 'aint letting up. It's giving it to me like I broke it's good china and wiped my arse on it's wedding dress.

There is just so much needless stress crashing down on me, and it's freaking exHAUsting! So naturally, I'm shutting myself away from the cruel bitch world outside and working HARD to clear it all up.

Of course, some good is gonna come out of all this eventually. I am currently finishing the script and casting for my first off-my-own-back play.

It's set in the post-apocalypse, so you KNOW it's gonna be good.

Of course, among all this stress, angst and anger, some good peeks through.

I made peace with a friend of mine after a big blowout (down to mis-understandings and me being not level-headed) and to be honest with you I really don't know what I would have done if I'd lost them because of it. If you are reading this then you know who you are, thank you for taking an idiot back.

ALSO! Got a new needle for my vinyl disk player, so I can listen to young Kylie Minogue's greatest hits in terrible, grainy quality. Because GOOD LUCK FINDING THEM ELSEWHERE!

Anyway, signing off with the post's namesake...

I AM IRON MAN!

So, today has taught me one very important thing.

I am fucking INDESTRUCTIBLE!

So, there I was walking to college (It was sunny, and I fancied a 4 mile walk, okay?) and I was NOT paying attention to my surroundings, I had music blaring in my ears and a the light breeze was blowing my too-long fringe into my eyes. Yeah, time to get a hair cut I think, BUT ANYWAY!

I begin to cross this road, and totally disobeyed the 'stop, look, go' rule, and the demi-god of traffic (Yes, there is one, but I forget it's name...google it) must have taken offence, and was all like "Right, I'm gonna get this fucker..." and sent a freakin' MONSTER of a pick-up truck hurtling down the street.

I glanced to the left too late, and suddenly I find myself with a chest full of bumper, and a chin covered in bonnet, before being thrown about 5 feet forward.

Now, the driver was a short, blonde woman with some big-ass shades on. Is that a stereotype? Must've been her totally ripped boyfriends car.

She jumps out to check if I'm okay, runs toward me all freaked out because I wasn't moving (gonna be honest, I was doing that to scare her a little, I'm a bastard, I know) and starts tapping my shoulder frantically asking if I was okay, with an underlying tone of "This better not effect my no-claims bonus".

I eventually get to my feet, my ribs felt like they had been turned upside-down, but other than that I was fine. I stumbled around a little, and she offered me a lift to the hospital (after I had told her it was totally my fault, of course) and even though I persisted I was okay (because I was) she practically bundled me into the car and took me anyway.

As she dropped me off at the main entrance, and vanished down the street, I buggered off home.

My ribs still throb a little, and I now have a crippling fear of leaving the house, but other than that, I'm fine!

Suck THAT traffic god!

I'm a 'woo' girl.

If saturday night taught me anything, it's that I still can't handle my drink, but I will gladly back 4 pitchers of cocktail.

I can't help my self around the stuff, it's such a fruity drink, and I'm a fruity man! ...uhm, wait I don't think thats right.

I couldn't tell if I was actually drunk by the end of the night, or just hyperactive from the heaps of e-numbers, but whatever it was, it felt so goooooooood.

So let it be known, I love me some woo woo.

Also, a surprise visit from my lovely girlfriend quite simply made the night. She got along with all my friends, and they liked her, so thats all that matters right now. So here's to her! *raise your jug*

MORE PURPLE RAAAAAAAIN!

Don't fear the Reaper

First of all...

Robert 'BobBob' Webb

1951 - 2011

(See, you couldn't convince us you were 52 forever)

May you rest in peace.

I went to his funeral today, and all the way through I couldn't help but think how horribly Christian the whole thing was. Bob was a solid Atheist, and this fat-ass priest at the front telling us all 'God takes him into his divine palace' was just silly.

So, this made me think about MY funeral (Naturally) and what I want to happen.

I am also not a Christian, I guess I am atheist, but I do like a lot of Norse Pagan ideology. So when I die, none of this suit-and-coffin bullshit, no no, I want my body wrapped and burned on a pyre in the middle of a field. As I burn, thats when the wake begins, everyone needs to get drunk and listen to all my favorite songs, party 'till I'm a charred shell, then PARTY SOME MORE!

Oh, and NO ONE is allowed to wear a suit or dress. Things that beautiful should not be brought to a sad event. Save them for weddings and important dates!

Also, if ONE person says 'He is with god now' or 'It's all part of gods plan' THROW THEM ON THE FIRE WITH ME!